***
He believes he is her devotee,
not a stalker.
He says he follows her,
but he is not a haunter.
He says she is his butterfly,
but not his victim.
Chaque jour, chaque evening
He sends all of his attention
to her.
But why is she
“so unyielding and so ungrateful?”
He doesn’t do her wrong,
only fulfills her post box
with emails.
He is convinced he doesn’t invade her,
but has no intention
of ever letting her
not respond.
He doesn’t expect her to love him
because he’s too common,
but he craves her answers
24/7.
When she doesn’t answer,
he asks for mutual “respect”.
He says he is not a predator,
but a lonely being
forced to act accordingly.
It drives her mad.
She feels as if she is at the earth’s end.
She feels the whole weight of hell
is pressing in
from this little black box –
her smartphone.
His messages are flying, and flying, and flying.
She wants to scream.
Again, a cascade of questions and comments –
a cruel reminder of how rare and uncommon the peace is,
especially online,
but also in the hearts of people,
and everyone in both worlds
wants more and more and more.
We always desire something other
than what we have.
She admits she is the same,
and therefore feels sympathy for him,
for his terrifying earnestness and obsession with her.
Still, sooner or later,
she shall have to stop it all,
to write to him
that she is not
his butterfly,
and he is not
a character of John Fowles,
not The Collector,
that she is not his victim,
just a serene
‘adieu’,
followed by the button ‘block’.
